Hilary Pereira guides new parents through their newborn’s first 12 months
Most parents are keen to know that their newborn is growing and developing normally, reaching milestones at the expected times. While all babies are unique and many progress at different rates, most should be following the monthly guidelines below. If not, or if you have any worries, talk to your health visitor or GP.
Month 1
These first four weeks you and your baby will be getting to know each other and working out a routine that suits you both best. You’ll begin to notice a pattern emerging of your baby’s sleepy and wakeful times and, although feeding may be erratic at first, by the end of this month you may find that you have both settled into a more regular routine.
Sound and vision
At birth, your newborn can most clearly focus on objects that are between 25-30cm (10-12in) away – about the same distance between your face and theirs when feeding. Your baby will recognise your voice from their time in the womb, but they can also recognise other familiar sounds. Studies have shown that newborns sometimes react to, for instance, the theme tunes of their mother’s favourite TV programmes by becoming still and focused while the music plays.
Month 2
Your baby changes most rapidly in their first eight weeks of life and you’ll notice a big difference between how they are now and when they were first born.
Your baby should be gaining weight fairly rapidly, but try not to compare with other babies of the same age: newborns’ growth rates can vary a lot. You’ll only need to have your baby weighed regularly if they were premature or if there are feeding problems. The average number of weigh-ins at the baby clinic these days is around six in the first year.
Smiles and expressions
Your baby may start to respond to different gestures and may become quite facially expressive around now. Try sticking out your tongue or making a surprised face, with your mouth in an O shape, and see if they will copy you. It’s around now you may be rewarded with that first smile. (Up until now your baby was more likely responding to a spot of wind!) They may also begin to make cooing noises in response to your conversation. This is the beginning of baby babbling.
To encourage your baby’s babbling, allow them time to ‘respond’ to your voice by pausing and looking at them after you finish talking. Then take up the conversation again, pause again (you may have to wait quite a few seconds) and let your baby respond. You’ll probably see lots of frowning, eye widening and mouth shapes going on as your baby tries to make sense of your own expressions and mimic what you’re doing.
Health note Your baby’s first immunisations are due. You should be sent a reminder by your GP practice or health centre; if not, make the appointment yourself. It’s important you start the programme on time, as other immunisations are due at three and four months.
Month 3
Your baby continues growing both mentally and physically, and is by now ready for a proper routine to be established. By now you’ll probably know your baby’s most wakeful and sleepy times and will be able to plan around these times.
You may now notice your baby trying to hold their head up when lying on their tummy (“tummy time” should only be for short periods under your constant supervision; government advice is always to lie your baby on their back to reduce the risk of cot death). Your baby will also push away from your shoulder when being carried, to get a better look around. They can probably now sit with the support of cushions and grasp and shake a rattle, so provide a variety of baby-safe playthings and set aside some special play time each day when you can really focus on and interact with your baby.
Nap time
It’s a good idea to try and establish a proper routine around now, as you’ll know your baby’s most wakeful and sleepy times. If your baby finds a bath stimulating, bathe them in the mornings; if they find it relaxing, work it into your bedtime routine.
Try and differentiate between daytime and night time by putting your baby down for naps in a daylit room and not tiptoeing around; at bedtime the room should be dimly lit (if at all) with curtains or blinds drawn, and reasonably quiet. Dress your baby for daytime and bedtime: even if it’s just a case of changing stretchsuits, make it part of the bedtime routine to change clothes. Consider timing outings so that long car journeys and supermarket shopping coincide with nap times, and visits are at livelier times.
Health note Baby’s second immunisations are due.
Month 4
Your baby is becoming increasingly animated and enjoying various stimuli. This is a month when many parents notice a big upsurge in physical and mental development. There’s plenty of scope for meaningful interaction between you and your baby.
Now is a great time to stimulate your baby by joining a mother-and-baby group such as baby signing; music making; baby gym or yoga; swimming (once your baby’s had their immunisations) or mum-and-baby coffee mornings. If nothing exists in your local area, why not set up regular meet-ups with some of the other mums from your postnatal group? There may be a soft-play centre in town you could all go to; or you could take it turns to entertain the group in your homes.
Motor and memory skills
You’ll see an increase in the amount of time your baby spends kicking, grabbing, swatting and rattling as their motor skills improve. Their memory is also developing fast and will now remember how different toys work. And listen out for that first giggle. Some babies start rolling over, usually from tummy to back; for others, this comes later. Because of this, never leave them on a raised surface.
Health note
Your baby’s third immunisations are due. They will have boosters at 12 and 13 months, then further immunisations at about three to five years. The programme ends with a final immunisation when they are in their teens.
Month 5
This is when many parents report their babies “getting into everything”, and it’s vital that you try to minimise the dangers around your home so they can play and explore safely, especially as many babies begin to roll over quite spontaneously around now.
The best way to discover dangers to your baby is to get down to their level in any rooms where they may be free to explore, so crawl around on your hands and knees and remove any hazards. You may discover small items such as pen lids or paperclips that have been dropped; you might find that the edges of your furniture need padding to prevent injuries; if you have a fire of any sort you’ll need to install a fireguard; in winter, you’ll need to ensure your baby can’t get burnt by hot radiators or exposed pipes. The key is to think like an inquisitive baby!
Growing inquisitiveness
Your baby will probably spend lots of time playing with their toes and fingers, as well as reaching for toys and exploring them with their mouth. They may make preliminary efforts to crawl, by making swimming movements when lying on their tummy. Your baby will also begin to solve visual problems: for example, realising that objects remain the same, even if they are viewed from a different angle. This is known as “form constancy”.
Month 6
Your baby’s experiences are about to broaden dramatically as they gain new mobility and get their first taste of solids.
A matter of taste
You can purée combinations of meat and vegetables, and fruit. A good tip is to store portions in ice cube trays so you can defrost what you need at each meal. Avoid citrus fruits or vegetables that don’t lend themselves to being puréed, and start off with a teaspoonful at a time.
Try mixing sweeter foods with savouries to make first foods more palatable to your baby: carrot and potato; carrot and apple; broccoli and sweet potato, and potato and parsnip all make good purées. For puddings, try combinations of puréed apples and pears; apple and mango; banana and pear, and so on. Remember to shred or finely mince chicken and meat. Also, add a little formula or breastmilk or made-up baby rice to thin the consistency of first purées: the consistency should be similar to yogurt for your baby to make a smooth transition from milk to solids.
Ready, steady...
Your baby may be off and crawling this month, or able to get on all fours (perhaps with your help) and start swaying back and forth as if preparing to set off. You may also see their first teeth emerging – usually the lower front pair.
Month 7
Your baby will enjoy the new perspective of sitting up. However, they may start to show signs of clinginess, especially when you try to leave a room or disappear from sight. This is known as separation anxiety and is very common in babies aged between seven and nine months.
Separation anxiety may last until your baby is nine or 10 months old and can be very wearing, especially if you use childcare. Be sympathetic to your baby, but don’t let this very normal phase tie you to your baby or fill you with guilt when you leave them. For now, take your baby with you from room to room as you move around the house: a bouncing cradle or activity mat should keep them happy as long as they can see you.
Explain to others about your baby’s anxiety, and try not to pass them around so much until they are over the worst.
Self-amusement
Many babies can now sit unsupported and will turn to find a favourite toy, as well as pick up a small object in one hand and transfer it to the other. Your baby may bounce instinctively if you stand them in your lap and hold them by the forearms. Now could be the time to invest in a doorway bouncer (although these are only suitable for up to 20 minutes’ use at a time and not with walking babies).
Month 8
Prepare for bumps and falls as your baby finds their feet. You can make your home as safe as possible, but the odd tumble is to be expected.
New mobility
Your baby is probably crawling or bottom shuffling and pulling themselves up to standing by holding on to furniture. Try to allow them as much freedom to explore as possible, while ensuring that all small, sharp, breakable or dangerous objects are out of the way. Provide some stable surfaces for your baby to cling to as they ‘cruise’ around the room. Move furniture closer together so they can move from one piece to the other; look around for hard edges your baby could fall backwards on to, and move these out of the way for now.
Encourage your baby by sitting a short way away with your arms open, then see if they’ll ‘cruise’ towards you.
Month 9
Your baby is becoming assertive and will let you know when they are happy – and when they are not. A more defined personality will begin to emerge from around now, which is exciting and fascinating to witness.
Who, me?
Your baby will probably understand the word “no”, although not necessarily respond to it! They’ll also recognise their own name and will make more meaningful babbling noises, which will sound like first words: “dadada” or “mamama”.
Many babies find it easier to say ‘hard’ sounds like ‘da’ than softer ones like ‘ma’, so don’t be offended if they seem to be saying ‘dada’ sooner than ‘mama’, even if you’re their mum and main carer. They probably haven’t made the association between ‘dada’ and ‘Daddy’ yet.
Encourage your baby by pointing at objects with simple names, like ball; dog; cup and teddy.
Month 10
Your baby is practising moving around in readiness for walking. The legs and spine are sufficiently strong to hold your baby’s weight now, albeit precariously as they struggle to find their centre of balance.
Gaining control
It won’t be long before your baby takes their first steps unsupported. Consider giving them a toddle truck or other walking toy for guidance.
It’s not a good idea to try to get a baby on their feet before they’re ready, but it’s fine to support them if they are obviously struggling to stand or walk.
If you do provide walker toys, make sure they don’t move too quickly or your baby will fall flat on their face. The RoSPA and CAPT advise strongly against using sit-in walkers on wheels because of the hazards they present of tipping up, racing away at speed, falling downstairs and elevating your baby to a height where they can reach potentially harmful objects. If, however, you do use one for your baby, never leave them unattended and restrict the amount of time they spend in it to 15 minutes at a time, no more than twice a day.
Month 11
Now your baby is able to stand for short periods (perhaps still supported), stoop, squat, sit and stand up again. Their motor skills are developing fast, as is their propensity for pushing boundaries: when you say ‘no’, they may choose to ignore you! It’s easy to lose your cool when your baby seems to be defying you: they may continuously throw toys or food around when told not to; shout repeatedly; pull your hair or pinch you; try to grab things out of your hand.
If you feel your temper rising, try to see things from your baby’s point of view: it’s frustrating to have a few skills, but not others, and they might be very frustrated at their own limitations. If you really do feel fit to burst into a rage, put your baby safely into another room and give yourself five minutes to calm down.
Forgive yourself if you do get cross – it’s completely understandable, especially at times when you’re coping alone with your baby. If you find yourself getting angry regularly, though, or if you feel unable to cope, contact your health visitor or GP for help.
Throw and fetch
Some babies can hold their own lidded cups and give themselves a drink. It’s worth investing in a non-spill beaker, as it’s likely to get hurled around – the urge to throw things continues and is now more deliberate. They should be able to manage plenty of self-feeding at mealtimes, as long as you provide food they can pick up with their fingers.
Month 12
This may be when your baby makes the transition to a toddler. Many babies get to their feet and start walking at this stage, although many do so later. They are also able to eat more or less anything you do from the end of this month, so do experiment and introduce more flavours and textures, taking things at your baby’s pace.
They might enjoy finger foods such as sticks of carrot or cheese; baby rusks; chocolate buttons (as a treat!); breadsticks; mini sausages or slices of apple.
Your baby will probably be adept at using a spoon, so offer baby yogurts; a little ice cream (watch for the facial expression the first time!); bowls of beans and mash; rice pudding and mini versions of your own meals.
Walking tall
For many babies, the approach of their first birthday heralds the beginning of walking independently, but there’s no need to worry if your baby shows no signs of finding their feet yet, unless their other motor developments also seem to be delayed. If you have any worries, talk to your health visitor or GP, they should be able to put your mind at rest.